the good and the bad

Hello again dear reader,

I am here writing to you on Friday afternoon. It is my day off and I feel I should tell you a thing or two about life in Kabul at the moment.

I have thought quite a lot about whether to send this post as I was worried the contents may concern you, but events last night made me decide that part of the responsibility of a blog is to tell “how it is” and give you, my avid readers, the opportunity to briefly experience another world (obviously without the inconvenience of having to travel there, which in the case of the return to Kabul was truly an inconvenience to be avoided!)

You may recall a news item recently about a suicide attack in a far-off place. The attack on the Serena Hotel in Kabul. You see, the Serena Hotel is about as well a defended non-military establishment as you will find outside Iraq. The fact that four of our 'bearded friends' were able to get in, let off suicide bombs and generally treat it like the OK Coral has sent an enormous shockwave through the ex-pat community in Kabul. The 'bearded ones' have declared they will attack anywhere foreigners congregate and by breaking through the defences of the Serena they have shown they can do it.

Now in Kabul there are basically two bars for the ex-pat community to enjoy a chat and a beer, one of which is reasonably close to our house. Normally, this would be very busy on a Thursday evening as Friday is the only day off. We went to the bar last night and the first thing we found was hugely increased security. Without giving details, there were a number of armed guards at various stages as we went through a number of security gates, checks and metal detectors until we eventually were able to go inside to the bar. (After that you need a strong drink!!!). Instead of the usual 100+ there was one group of just 4 people and us. We had one drink and went home. You see, it has worked, no-one dares go out and congregate anywhere.

On a lighter note, me and a colleague went for a walk today in frozen Kabul (well, we had no electric, heating or hot water at home so it seemed like a good idea). The roads really are quite odd now. First it rained and made them all rutted and then the big freeze came. So the ruts and the ground are literally rock solid. The maximum temperature we have had for a week now is -10C so the snow and ice are completely solid and frozen. Walking down the road it is dusty, but if you scrape away the dust it is solid ice underneath. Very strange. Anyway as we wandered down a road we saw a group of lads playing football in the street. They asked us if we would like to join in; so there we were in woolly hats, gloves and coats playing footie. I was in goal, the ground is so rutted running around is not a good idea!!! (hope you like the piccie). We had a laugh and some fun then headed home. Don't stay in one place for too long, as they say.

the grumpy blogger

OK, I know I seem to spend all my time moaning but I have not washed since the night of the earthquake.
You see, yesterday morning the water heater in the bathroom blew its heating element, so we had no hot water (and believe me, in these temperatures you do not use the cold water!!). So that was fixed yesterday. I went to bed expecting to have a shower this morning BUT.
Today the diesel had frozen in the generator and so we had no power, no heating, no water, no nothing except cold and dark. So I got up very quickly and dived into a car and went straight to work for some light and heat and a cup of tea. Today the generator has been fixed and we have power, heating and water. BUT.
The water heater has sprung a leak and has been taken away to be repaired, so no hot water tomorrow!!!

There are limits...................................................

..and then the house shook

Wow, I am getting pretty regular at this, but such a lot is happening, I feel the need to share it with you.
Now not wanting to sound like all I do is go on about the weather, but today the maximum temperature was -10C and tonight we have plunged to -23C. I have to say I have never felt this cold for so long without any respite. It is really odd but everything is made of concrete and the concrete is frozen so the cold creeps up through from the floor from your feet up your legs and means you have permanently chilly toes and it is very reminiscent of the old brass monkey saying!!
Anyway, to add to general oddness of it all last night I went to bed early, but couldn't sleep so got a book out and started reading. Then a really strange thing happened. Everything was silent but suddenly the whole house lurched, literally it lurched, moved back to its normal position and then lurched again, and then lurched again. After three lurches everything went back to normal!!
It felt so weird, like a giant hand was shaking the house from side to side and it was swaying in the wind like a tree with the foundations rooted to the spot and me sitting in the branches swaying from side to side. What made it even more weird was the silence.
I got up and had a wander round, but everyone else was asleep and so I had to assume it was an earthquake and went back to bed. It turns our there was a small quake in Iran and it was that which shook us.
So there you go this week just gets weirder and weirder.

Warm toes

Dear reader,
I can feel your concern across the many oceans and leagues that divide us.

Your anxiety about my well-being through the freezing night is well founded and appreciated. BUT, fret no more; relax and settle down in your comfy armchair, put out the cat, make a warm mug of Horlicks, light the fire, put your feet up, dim the lights, turn on the TV and settle down in front of the next episode of Midsomer Murders. Worry not for me, but for poor Bergerac and the next village to be decimated by a rampaging murderer as another scorned member of the WI wreaks their revenge on the inhabitants of a population halved by their blood-lust and thirst for the respect and dignity that has been so cruelly denied them by the coven of judges in the Jam-making competition.

No need to head for the Red Cross and demand a parcel of warm blankets and quilts are delivered to Kabul immediately on a mission of extreme need, for I, your humble blogger found a sleeping bag last night and now ensconce myself in said sleeping bag under three blankets. Last night my little toes were resplendent in only one pair of thermal socks and were toasting like marshmallows on a fork while I slept the sleep of the desperately tired. In fact, I woke up at 8am, realised it was a holiday, there was no power, the heating was off and my breath was creating a nice line in freezing mist and decided to stay under the covers. I finally awoke at 12:15 which must be the first time I have slept through a whole morning since my 40's.

So, all is well, and tomorrow we finally go to work and begin the long task of unravelling what has been done in my absence, I wonder what delights await me!!

So till then, be good, and please don't be shy to leave a comment, it is heart-warming to know someone actually reads this drivel!!!

Chill Will Bill Nill - part 2

Well, we have had a day in Kabul. The irony is that I had to get back for Wednesday to do the end of year accounts. We were stuck in Dubai and I did them over the phone. We finally arrived at 4.30pm on Thursday and everyone had gone home. Friday is our day off and Saturday is a holiday. I will have left London on Monday and not actually go to work until this Sunday. I could have had almost a whole further week at home. Oh well; win some, lose some.

Now I thought it was cold before I left. But the house has been empty for a month and there is thick snow on the ground. The inside walls of the house are damp and clammy and the house is freezing. We put all the heating on yesterday, but it has hardly made a dent in the cold. Last night it was about -15C outside. I slept with 3 blankets, 2 pairs of socks, thermal vest and long johns and pyjamas, and froze all night. Tonight it is expected to be about -23C (that is about the temperature on the Eidelweiss chair in the blizzard for those who were there). Am going to hunt for a sleeping bag to cocoon myself in!!! It is the coldest Kabul has been for 20 years.

Reading the news, it says 200 people have died from the cold in Afghanistan in this cold snap. I really don't believe that, it must be more. There are people in tents, on the street and in shells of houses out there, let alone those in the mud houses all over the hills and that is just Kabul. All things are relative. I am worse off than you, but I know within a mile of me are people far worse off than me. Sleep well.

the return – part 3

Hello again, this really is becoming an epic, but don't worry we are almost there. It is now straightforward, we go back to the airport, they put us on a plane and we leave – easy!!

EXCEPT, of course there are today's flights to contend with as well as yesterdays, and immigration are not letting anyone through until we are definitely going to leave.

The weather report from Kabul is overcast now and clearing. We get the all clear and so the mass of people for 8 flights are now thronging at the one security machine (yes, it took a long time!!)

We get through and one by one we are booked on our flights and we go through to the departure gates. The flights are called and eventually we leave around 11am, we are heading for Kabul.

The flight goes smoothly and we approach Kabul. The mountains are all covered in snow and, for the first time, I really take a good look at the approach into Kabul. For the first time I notice, actually we fly through a gap in the mountains and either side of us are mountains higher than us. Yes, I really am pleased they did not try and get in yesterday. My travel story is nearly over. As we walk across the tarmac to the arrivals hall, a huge, heavy, thick, black cloud rolls over the mountains to the south. By the time we leave the building Kabul is enveloped in a snow storm and visibility is zero. We arrived with about 20mins to spare.

Next time I will tell you just how cold it is here at night.

the return - part 2

So where were we: oh yes, the alarm has gone off, it is 5am, we are heading for the airport, it is dark, raining and we are a tad weary, but in high spirits as we are about to escape drowning Dubai or are we?

Today there are 4 flights to Kabul, Ariana Air at 6.30, Pamir Air at 7.00, Kam Air (our flight) at 7.30 and UN at 11am.

We are all checked in, our bags are taken, we go through passport control, man asks where, when, how, why (he knows who), stamps the passport and we are in Terminal 2 departure lounge. Now I don't know if I have explained that Dubai has two terminals, Terminal one is for all legit airlines and terminal two is for dodgy airlines to dodgy places. The only flights from terminal two go to locations in Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan.

The Ariana flight goes around 7.30 and we all wait. This is normal: flights to Kabul NEVER leave on time!! However, we wait, and we wait and eventually the Ariana flight returns and its passengers are back in Departures. As you can imagine it is getting a little busy now and no-one is telling us what is going on!! We are on the phone to Kabul and it is snowing heavily and visibility is very poor. I expect that few of you have flown to Kabul, but it is surrounded by mountains and two years ago an Ariana flight flew into a mountain in poor visibility, so to be honest, we are not too distressed that we are safely on the ground.

Meanwhile, your intrepid blogger has to finish the 2007 accounts. So I spend a large part of the day sitting on the floor in a corner by a pillar (next to the lady with screaming baby and noisy toddler) where there is a socket to charge my trusty Acer, with spreadsheets on display, and mobile phone clamped to my ear trying to talk my Afghan team through budget allocations. I seriously do not recommend this as a method for closing the year end accounts, but hey, needs must as they say. Finally, they stop ringing and either can't hear me or it's sorted!

Eventually at around 3pm we are told the flights are all cancelled and we have to return through immigration, re-enter Dubai, pick up our bags and wait for a bus to a hotel to stay overnight.

Now this may sound pretty straightforward, except there are 4 flights with 4 different airlines, (not forgetting that announcements for Pamir and Kam Air sound remarkably similar over a PA system), no staff from any of the airlines and lots of potential to get us all mixed up. I will cut a long story shorter here by telling you it took a long time but eventually a Kam Air man came and collected our passports for our exit stamps to be cancelled and we were taken 20 at a time back through immigration and then came the wait for our bags. We eventually left the airport about 6pm and huddled outside on the kerb (just above the waterline) for the bus to arrive. It did, but there was not enough room for all and so me, Matthew and the Kam Air rep ended up in a taxi.

At last we were on way to the hotel, after all we have been up since 5am and spent the day in the airport. Surely things could not go wrong now!! That was until we told the taxi driver where we wanted to go. The hotel is in Sharjah (the next state) but only about 30mins taxi ride. However, according to the taxi driver Sharjah is even more flooded than Dubai and he refused to go there. After a long shouting match between the rep and the driver, which involves a supervisor coming to sort it out, we head for Sharjah.

As predicted by our driver, as we approach Sharjah the water gets deeper, the traffic slower and he becomes more edgy. In fact, he gets to the point where he turns the car round and heads back to Dubai!!! The rep taps him on the shoulder which causes all verbal hell to break loose and the driver calling his supervisor claiming he has been assaulted. Meanwhile we are looking at the water which has now reached the height of the doors. Traffic is stationary, the sky is now dark and we have absolutely no idea where we are, all we know is we slept on a plane two nights ago for a few hours, we got up at 5am today and we are now sitting in a taxi with a sulking driver who refuses to go further and claims he has be assaulted, surrounded by knee deep water!!!! After much to-ing and fro-ing and radio calls to base, the driver is calmed and we turn around again and head for Sharjah. After 3 hours we get to the hotel and walk knee deep in water carrying our bags into the hotel which has water lapping at the top step of the entrance but not quite coming in. It is late, nothing else to report except we are told to be in reception next morning at 4.30am for the whole procedure to start again. Could it get worse? Wait and see.

the return - part 1

Greetings my faithful few. I trust you are both well upon my return from the Christmas & New Year break in dear old Blighty.

I expect you are ready for more tales of derring-do and adventures as your intrepid blogger begins his next sojourn in Afghanistan. Before I begin I would like to thank all those who, over the break period, expressed concern, nee often delight, regarding my bowels. Suffice to say I sit before you this afternoon in full control of all faculties much to your collective dismay!!!

Well, how do I begin, to tell a story of... the journey to Kabul. My faithful fellows and fellowesses I can tell you now the journey itself was of epic proportions and is a blog entry all of itself. So where do I begin.

Picture the scene, it is Terminal 4 at Heathrow, I am alone again in the world with just my bag of clothes, DVDs, books and of course – Acer, my ever constant (when it boots up) computer for company as I again turn my back on home comforts, warmth, company, family, the mighty CAFC et al and head back to the joys of Kabul. Little was I to know that Kabul would be further away and an adventure or two more than I realised. As I queued at check-in I had a call from Matthew who would share the flight with me, 9pm London to Dubai. The bags were checked in, we met for coffee and headed for gate 24. Gate 24 is so far from the terminal there are 3 long, separate, moving walkways to it!!! Two of which were broken, but no fear there is a coffee shop at gate 24 so off we trudged. You know how they put up signs saying “Warning 10 minutes walk to gate” well this one was very accurate, without the moving walkways it was at least 10 minutes. We get to the gate around 7.45pm and the coffee shop there is not actually closed.......... because it does not exist!!! So do we return to the main departure area, boarding is at 8.30, the walk is 20mins and we have 45mins. So we walk all the way back, have a coffee and then at 8.15 walk all the way back to the gate. But what is this, there is no boarding, in fact we are now told the plane is delayed for an hour. Not forgetting we have already made 40mins of walking between departures and gate. So we go for the full hour of walking back and forth and return once again to the coffee shop for yet more refreshment. Little did we realise this was a Portent – a sign of things to come!!!!!

The flight left an hour late and was uneventful. It was half empty and there were plenty of rows of seats to lay across and sleep, so not bad at all. We were to arrive in Dubai on Tuesday morning and catch an early morning flight to Kabul on Wednesday arriving in Kabul mid-Wednesday morning which was very important as I had to finish the 2007 end of year accounts by the end of Thursday.

In the usual chatty style of captains as they come in to land we were informed by a rather jolly chap that the weather in Dubai was a little overcast. This may go down as one of the understatements of the century. It was absolutely chucking it down with rain. In fact, the whole area outside the arrivals terminal was under water and as we stepped off the kerb we were ankle deep in water. Not bad for a desert kingdom, but only the beginning!!!

We were ensconced in our rather shabby hotel and wondered what to do for the day. I went to reception to ask them to call a taxi so we could go to the snowdome and ski for the afternoon. The answer I got rather surprised me “I am sorry sir, I recommend you do not go, Dubai is flooded and it will take about 2½ hours to get there through the traffic”

As the rain had abated we went for a walk instead, after all we are in the desert, it can't be flooded, can it? We walked for about a mile and slowly, but surely realised the receptionist was no fool, yes Dubai was flooded. (See piccie above) As we walked we had to avoid the waves made by the passing cars as the water spread across the pavement.

On the way back it poured and we got soaked, but worse was to come!! We spent the rest of the day drying out, and sleeping. Dinner was dire. If you can imagine Indian cooking with no attempt to include spices you will get the idea!! So off for an early night, and an alarm call at 5am for the next leg. At least we would be off to Kabul early and get away from the flooded desert kingdom - or were we? See you in part two.