Just to make you all feel better at home, we were forecast heavy snow yesterday. The world as we knew it was about to cease and Kabul would become a winter wonderland!!
Well, we Brits love to chat about the weather, wherever we are and usually at the expense of the hapless weather forecaster, and Kabul is no different.
It rained all day yesterday, not a hint of snow in the air.
I would not mention this but we are getting the jitters about the snow. We escape on Saturday, weather permitting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Excitement at the Road Block
There have been a couple of suicide bombers in Kabul this week, so the Police are tightening up with numerous road blocks in random places. In the evening, these road blocks consist of a number of policemen waving people down with a torch and then checking papers and moving on. They do not stop every car but a small selection, particularly cars with no number plates & those which are not full. There is a logic to this, a suicide bomber does not drive around in a car full of people, but alone. That is a point, what is the collective noun for a group of suicide bombers? Answers on a postcard, please.
Anyway, to reduce a long, rambling story to a short, rambling story, this evening we were stopped at a roadblock in our handsome, large armoured Toyota Land Cruiser. Obviously, once they had shone the torch in and seen the occupants and noticed we were an armoured vehicle, they waved us on. Again, logically, if you were a suicide bomber you would not use an armoured vehicle. Firstly, it would be a very expensive car to blow up and secondly, by definition, if it stops explosions getting in, presumably it would certainly diminish the effect of an explosion trying to get out. But this is not the point to my story.
As we were about to drive off the Police flagged down a Black Toyota Corolla, the car slowed, then accelerated through the road block and disappeared off down the road. The obvious response to this was for one of the policeman to get out his gun and start firing it into the air. This all simply leads to the fact that I have never seen a gun fired before in the open air like that and was just a tad surprised. My, what a sheltered life I have lead.
It is very cold tonight and the sky is thick with cloud. Heavy snow is forecast for tomorrow.
Anyway, to reduce a long, rambling story to a short, rambling story, this evening we were stopped at a roadblock in our handsome, large armoured Toyota Land Cruiser. Obviously, once they had shone the torch in and seen the occupants and noticed we were an armoured vehicle, they waved us on. Again, logically, if you were a suicide bomber you would not use an armoured vehicle. Firstly, it would be a very expensive car to blow up and secondly, by definition, if it stops explosions getting in, presumably it would certainly diminish the effect of an explosion trying to get out. But this is not the point to my story.
As we were about to drive off the Police flagged down a Black Toyota Corolla, the car slowed, then accelerated through the road block and disappeared off down the road. The obvious response to this was for one of the policeman to get out his gun and start firing it into the air. This all simply leads to the fact that I have never seen a gun fired before in the open air like that and was just a tad surprised. My, what a sheltered life I have lead.
It is very cold tonight and the sky is thick with cloud. Heavy snow is forecast for tomorrow.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Another Friday funday
Hello again one and all and welcome to my world.
Before I begin with todays tale of not so derring-do, I shall answer a couple of questions posed to me by my loyal, and frankly, bowel obsessed readership. Yes Clair, that is you. No, I have not bought any traditional Afghan dress, except for my Pakoul hat which I have to say is pretty snazzy and, I think, may begin a fashion craze that could sweep Lane End (seeing as they cost less than a £1). However, I am seriously considering buying the full burkha for you (refer to Darth Vader in previous picture) for all departures from home. I am sure Mr. R would approve!
As for Amazon etc delivering here, this is an interesting point. It is actually cheaper to post to me in Kabul, as I have a BFPO address, than it is to post to me in the UK, so yes, they do deliver. In fact, even here in Kabul, I have been bidding on items on eBay and recently won a CD that I hope is waiting for me right now at the British Army camp just down the Jalalabad Road. Talking of Army camps, oh, such a sweet slide into a new subject. I went to ISAF HQ on another shopping trip today, so some lucky people out there have been purchased an extremely cheap Christmas present today. No names, no packdrill, but 1 or 2 people reading this today are going to have to smile sweetly in a couple of weeks time and pretend they have just received a fabuloso present, which is really cheap Afghan bazaar tat. My favourite are the Oakley copy glasses which have the giveaway on the box which calls Okley glasses!!!!
I did also buy a really lovely, small silk rug today that is beautiful and feels fantastic if you walk on it barefoot.
After our shopping expedition, we came back. Outside the house those pesky kids were playing cricket again. For some inexplicable reason I thought, if you can't beat them, join them and sort of made strange noises and motions to them and they allowed us to join in, so me and Mathew spent half an hour this afternoon playing cricket in the street outside the house. The ball was a tennis ball and the wicket, I jest not, was a bicycle stood sideways, so the bowler had a target about 5 feet wide and 4 feet tall. Yes, a lot of people were out quite quickly.
After that I spent an hour sitting in the sun reading. When the sun is up it is quite warm, but as soon as the sun goes down the temperature drops sharply. We have sun forecast today and tomorow and then heavy snow for the rest of the week. Still as long as the plane takes off on Saturday, I am out of here!!!!
Get those mince pies ready at the squash club, PQ is heading home for a few weeks!!
And finally, as Sir Trevor would say. No the loo paper is not soft, in fact I think it is made from recycled razor blades, it you get my drift.
Before I begin with todays tale of not so derring-do, I shall answer a couple of questions posed to me by my loyal, and frankly, bowel obsessed readership. Yes Clair, that is you. No, I have not bought any traditional Afghan dress, except for my Pakoul hat which I have to say is pretty snazzy and, I think, may begin a fashion craze that could sweep Lane End (seeing as they cost less than a £1). However, I am seriously considering buying the full burkha for you (refer to Darth Vader in previous picture) for all departures from home. I am sure Mr. R would approve!
As for Amazon etc delivering here, this is an interesting point. It is actually cheaper to post to me in Kabul, as I have a BFPO address, than it is to post to me in the UK, so yes, they do deliver. In fact, even here in Kabul, I have been bidding on items on eBay and recently won a CD that I hope is waiting for me right now at the British Army camp just down the Jalalabad Road. Talking of Army camps, oh, such a sweet slide into a new subject. I went to ISAF HQ on another shopping trip today, so some lucky people out there have been purchased an extremely cheap Christmas present today. No names, no packdrill, but 1 or 2 people reading this today are going to have to smile sweetly in a couple of weeks time and pretend they have just received a fabuloso present, which is really cheap Afghan bazaar tat. My favourite are the Oakley copy glasses which have the giveaway on the box which calls Okley glasses!!!!
I did also buy a really lovely, small silk rug today that is beautiful and feels fantastic if you walk on it barefoot.
After our shopping expedition, we came back. Outside the house those pesky kids were playing cricket again. For some inexplicable reason I thought, if you can't beat them, join them and sort of made strange noises and motions to them and they allowed us to join in, so me and Mathew spent half an hour this afternoon playing cricket in the street outside the house. The ball was a tennis ball and the wicket, I jest not, was a bicycle stood sideways, so the bowler had a target about 5 feet wide and 4 feet tall. Yes, a lot of people were out quite quickly.
After that I spent an hour sitting in the sun reading. When the sun is up it is quite warm, but as soon as the sun goes down the temperature drops sharply. We have sun forecast today and tomorow and then heavy snow for the rest of the week. Still as long as the plane takes off on Saturday, I am out of here!!!!
Get those mince pies ready at the squash club, PQ is heading home for a few weeks!!
And finally, as Sir Trevor would say. No the loo paper is not soft, in fact I think it is made from recycled razor blades, it you get my drift.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Chill Will Bill Nill
As you can see, the view from my window is now rather spectacular with the snow capped mountains encircling the plain that Kabul sits on. Soon the snow will be down on the plain and our demining operations will halt for the duration while the ground is covered in snow and frozen.
We shall be coming back to UK soon for three weeks of hard earned rest and shall begin again in mid-January preparing for the deminers to go back out into the field in mid-February, we hope.
At the moment it is pretty chaotic as we try to struggle with $10m of budget that ends on December 31st and all the budget lines have to be spent accurately over the year to within 10% of the projections. Every day people are coming in for money for new tents, plastic sheet to cover the old tents, more diesel, more gas etc and the carefully planned projections are shattered by 8am every day and we start all over again!!! I am usually hopping mad till I get it back under control about 3pm, but that is Kabul life!!! What we need is an accountant - now where would I find one of those?
However, you have seen pictures of our house. It is not the best maintained property and the windows are akin to the windows you would find in a garden shed on a long ago abandoned allotment. They are a single pane barely hanging in the thin frame and the openers do not close properly. So when the temperature reaches -11C at night, they are not the best protection from the cold.
With the power off there is no electric and without CO alarms we cannot use the gas heaters, so there you have it. A very chilleee trip to the bathroom at 3am when you wake up shivering in bed!!!!
Still we are a lot better off than most residents of Kabul and it seems a bit churlish to moan, but I am looking forward to a hot bath, a warm room and most of all a hot, soft bed with fluffy pillows and a thick quilt. Oh, and a pint of Shepherd Neame. (not in bed)
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Another Friday, another Funday
As you are all aware by now, Friday is our day off and it is generally a day of non-stop fun and frivolity as we rampage the streets of Kabul, partying and; just going crazeee (as Noddy Holder would have said).
Yesterday was no different. I awoke at 8am, obviously no electric and no running water and laid in bed to read my book for a while. (I am sure you can feel the intensity of the day growing, even from thousands of miles away). I had breakfast (it is friday/funday so I go crazeee and cook an omelette). By 9.30 the others are awake and I can turn on the generator and get some power. Things are now happening at a pace, already I am struggling to control the excitement and anticipation.
With electricity the possibilities are endless, now the radio works, the TV works and even the internet connection is up and running.
But today is going to be a shopping day. Me and Mathew are going to ISAF HQ, where they have a bazaar on Fridays. So we call Zabi, he comes and gets us and off we go.
ISAF HQ is the HQ for the International Security Assistance Force, ie the coalition. There are soldiers here from about 20 different countries. It really is quite weird being in the midst of this Tower of Babel, here in Kabul.
"The sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray" and is giving us a fine and delightful autumn day. In the car park are set up about a hundred local trader stalls selling everything from carpets to sunglasses (the Oakley copies have Okley on the box, a bit of a giveaway, methinks). There are stalls with scarves, DVDs, coats, in fact almost everything; and a large number of stalls with the strangest military memorabilia including swords, daggers, huge old padlocks!! and lots of 19th century British equipment like compasses etc. Presumably trophies from the last British retreat from Afghanistan, as well as lots of old Soviet Army memorabilia. I buy a couple of presents and Mathew gets measured up for a made-to-measure full length black leather coat a la Matrix.
Now I have to say, he is tall and thin. I am short and fat, otherwise I too would be adorned as a Neo lookalike this winter (although I expect I would be more Herr Flick than Neo, sorry Keanu).
We are breathless from the thrills and spills of it all and head back to the house after an hour or so to recharge our batteries. I came within a gnats whisker of buying a silk carpet. They are beautiful and change colour depending on the angle of the light etc. I haggle down from €320 ($450) to just $220 (106 pounds), a pretty good discount, but this particular carpet does not light my fire. One I saw at another stall was $400 which I would not have hesitated for at $220 for a silk carpet is a bargain. So I come away carpetless.
I spend the afternoon, trying out my "Teach yourself Dari" book. I thought I would start with a bit of writing. It is really strange at first to be writing right to left and your hand instantly wants to move left to right. You consciously have to make yourself write the letters "backwards" which is so difficult at first. Control is everything!!!! It is a bit like trying to write left handed as it just seems wrong!! I eventually get to write the alphabet and have written my first 2 words. Ab which is "water" and asan which is "easy". If only you could see my attempts, they are quite funny, and if you think Persian looks like squiggles, wait till you see my attempts, I am rubbish, but things can only get better!!!
In the evening I have a headache (is all this excitement tiring you out reading this?) so I go to bed early, about 8pm. At 1am I am woken by the man who lives in the house opposite. Every night he comes home at 1am and then sits outside with his hand on the car horn blaring out to get the someone to come out and open the garage door. Now I am used to this and have learnt to handle it, BUT at 5.30am this morning a delivery lorry arrived (they have building works going on) and proceeded to hammer the horn mercilessly to signal his arrival - at 5.30am!!! Now this was the last straw, I opened my window and, using a variety of Anglo-Saxon terms, requested that he may desist from this practice as soon as possible, please. This may not have done Anglo-Afghan relations much good, but I sure felt better. Incredibly the driver got out of the cab, walked over to the house and knocked on the door.
You see, you only have to ask!!
Yesterday was no different. I awoke at 8am, obviously no electric and no running water and laid in bed to read my book for a while. (I am sure you can feel the intensity of the day growing, even from thousands of miles away). I had breakfast (it is friday/funday so I go crazeee and cook an omelette). By 9.30 the others are awake and I can turn on the generator and get some power. Things are now happening at a pace, already I am struggling to control the excitement and anticipation.
With electricity the possibilities are endless, now the radio works, the TV works and even the internet connection is up and running.
But today is going to be a shopping day. Me and Mathew are going to ISAF HQ, where they have a bazaar on Fridays. So we call Zabi, he comes and gets us and off we go.
ISAF HQ is the HQ for the International Security Assistance Force, ie the coalition. There are soldiers here from about 20 different countries. It really is quite weird being in the midst of this Tower of Babel, here in Kabul.
"The sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray" and is giving us a fine and delightful autumn day. In the car park are set up about a hundred local trader stalls selling everything from carpets to sunglasses (the Oakley copies have Okley on the box, a bit of a giveaway, methinks). There are stalls with scarves, DVDs, coats, in fact almost everything; and a large number of stalls with the strangest military memorabilia including swords, daggers, huge old padlocks!! and lots of 19th century British equipment like compasses etc. Presumably trophies from the last British retreat from Afghanistan, as well as lots of old Soviet Army memorabilia. I buy a couple of presents and Mathew gets measured up for a made-to-measure full length black leather coat a la Matrix.
Now I have to say, he is tall and thin. I am short and fat, otherwise I too would be adorned as a Neo lookalike this winter (although I expect I would be more Herr Flick than Neo, sorry Keanu).
We are breathless from the thrills and spills of it all and head back to the house after an hour or so to recharge our batteries. I came within a gnats whisker of buying a silk carpet. They are beautiful and change colour depending on the angle of the light etc. I haggle down from €320 ($450) to just $220 (106 pounds), a pretty good discount, but this particular carpet does not light my fire. One I saw at another stall was $400 which I would not have hesitated for at $220 for a silk carpet is a bargain. So I come away carpetless.
I spend the afternoon, trying out my "Teach yourself Dari" book. I thought I would start with a bit of writing. It is really strange at first to be writing right to left and your hand instantly wants to move left to right. You consciously have to make yourself write the letters "backwards" which is so difficult at first. Control is everything!!!! It is a bit like trying to write left handed as it just seems wrong!! I eventually get to write the alphabet and have written my first 2 words. Ab which is "water" and asan which is "easy". If only you could see my attempts, they are quite funny, and if you think Persian looks like squiggles, wait till you see my attempts, I am rubbish, but things can only get better!!!
In the evening I have a headache (is all this excitement tiring you out reading this?) so I go to bed early, about 8pm. At 1am I am woken by the man who lives in the house opposite. Every night he comes home at 1am and then sits outside with his hand on the car horn blaring out to get the someone to come out and open the garage door. Now I am used to this and have learnt to handle it, BUT at 5.30am this morning a delivery lorry arrived (they have building works going on) and proceeded to hammer the horn mercilessly to signal his arrival - at 5.30am!!! Now this was the last straw, I opened my window and, using a variety of Anglo-Saxon terms, requested that he may desist from this practice as soon as possible, please. This may not have done Anglo-Afghan relations much good, but I sure felt better. Incredibly the driver got out of the cab, walked over to the house and knocked on the door.
You see, you only have to ask!!
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