A shady character

Those of you who know me well, and have endured travelling in my car will know I am a chap that likes things cool rather than hot. I have the heat in the car permanently set to the blue – even in the deep mid winter.

When I go somewhere sunny you can rely on me to be skulking in the shadows out of the sun - a true shady character. So last night I board my BA flight from Heathrow to Luanda in Angola. I am wearing a shirt and trousers as I am NEVER cool enough on a plane, it is always a bit too warm for me. We take off at 8pm and they serve us dinner, then the lights are dimmed and we are expected to sleep most of the 8 hour flight except for one rather important detail. At this point they set the cabin temperature to freezing. I kid you not. I have to unwrap the blanket they have kindly provided and try to completely engulf myself inside the blanket to try to stay warm. Up to my neck, tucked in over my shoulders and down over my feet. This is COLD. Sleeping is impossible as you shiver, but then another effect begins to set in, a strange feeling that combined with tiredness overcomes even the cramped confines of a cattle class seat.

Now I am not an expert on Cryogenics and I don't really understand suspended animation, but I do understand that the colder you make something, the slower it becomes. Maybe this is the plan: a planeload of passengers, slow down their bodies and reactions to zero, lock them in suspended animation and then the crew get a quiet night!

The temperature came up around 3am, they served us breakfast and we landed at 4am. The plane touched down safely in Angola, everyone jumped up out of their seats, there was the usual scrum for luggage and then everyone stood. Stood and waited for the plane to halt, for the doors to be opened and to get out. So here we are down in the southern hemisphere, unsure of what awaits and waiting for the doors to open and the adventure to begin. 5 hours frozen sleep in a cattle class seat is not ideal preparation and my brain is a little fuzzy. But in the back of my mind I am thinking: “If I have been frozen for 5 hours – am I just a little younger than you today?”

Next I will tell you what happened when the doors finally opened.