we're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

Here I am once again, feeling as fit as a fiddle with no strings, with a new tale of thrills and spills in downtown Kabul.

On Friday, I went to the zoo. Well, me and my driver and my armed guard went to the zoo for a day (well, an hour) out. A fine time was had by all. Actually my plan was to visit the Kabul museum and this cultural event was something I was looking forward to, but I am sorry to report it is closed on Friday, so please if you are thinking of going next Friday - DON'T, it ain't open.

But all was not lost Zabi, pointed out the zoo as we passed it on the way to the museum and so that was our target now.

We parked up outside and headed off to the ticket booth. 10Afs each, oh except the khoragi (thats us foreigners) 100Afs to me. (Ok that is a whole £1). Off the three of us trotted. The question is, where should your armed guard be, beside you, in front of you or behind you. Well, I thought he was behind me, but when I turned round he had disappeared. Apparently gone off to the loo. For a full two minutes I was at the mercy of any Taleban snatch squads that happened to be patrolling Kabul zoo. Actually part of the reason I went to Kabul zoo was because every khoragi I told I was going to the zoo said "why would you want to go there" and no-one had been. So I thought it would be a good place to go and mingle with Afghans instead of endless expats. And so it was, which also makes it a very safe place. If you were looking for Khoragi to kidnap or kill, you really would not hang around the zoo!!!!!

I digress (one of my big regrets is not getting a piccie of me and guard at the monkey house). Anyway, we went round the zoo, there were a number of bears, monkeys,various birds including some huge owls, an aquarium, gazelles and a collection of ducks (Mallards and Aylesburys) It made me quite homesick for Lane End pond.

So we had a good wander round and enjoyed the animals. I will say it will not win any awards for the pens etc the animals are in, but they are not anywhere near as bad as I expected, particularly considering the area it is in and the devastation all around it. Yes, there are parts of the zoo you have to climb over the rubble to get round, and a lot of concrete in the pens, but these are difficult circumstances. The animals are certainly better off than many of the people I have seen here.

However, the animals were not the real entertainment.You see the zoo, like most zoos is full of families, Mums, Dads and children and many of them were having picnics. This seems pretty straightforward until you realise the women are wearing the obligatory Burkhas. This covers them from the head down to the feet with a fine mesh grill to see through, and no mouth hole. So food disappears up under the Burkha, not sure what happens then!!

When we got back to the house there was the tinkling of the ice cream man walking down the road with his ice cream barrel. This was too much of a chance to miss, so I treated Zabi, the guard and the guard outside the house to ice creams. He opened the barrel and it was full of Magnums.!!!! Exactly the same as at home but a bit smaller and only 30p. Oh yes and they were almost melted. We all had one, mine almost slipped off the stick and I had to devour it in one mouthful, one of the guards opened the packet and it just fell off onto the floor. He complained and the mother of all arguments raged for the next 5 mins. The ice cream seller became completely irate and would not even SELL us another ice cream let alone replace the fallen one. Eventually he stomped of deliberatley running his cart over the ice cream on the floor to prove some sort of point.

So there it was, a day with the Afghans. Great fun.

Ask me about my new bedside table, there is another story that will show you how bored I am!!!