Men in Black

This has been a bit of a worrying week here in the Demining community in 'Stan. On Monday a convoy of three demining vehicles was stopped by two men on a motorbike who proceeded to strafe the vehicles with machine guns killing seven and putting another five critically injured in hospital. Just as this news was being digested on Tuesday, I was at a meeting in the UN when a call came in with news of another demining vehicle having been attacked (again, in the supposedly quiet North of Afghanistan) with both occupants also being killed. The UN immediately called a halt to all demining operations in the North and various meetings were held to discuss the way forward. In the meantime our friends (the bearded ones, the men in black) issued a statement Tuesday afternoon saying they condemn these killings and that demining should be allowed to continue freely as this is an important and worthy operation for the people of Afghanistan. Hopefully, that has put an end to it and the attacks will cease, but we have ideas about what was going on and almost certainly these attacks were never sanctioned by the Taleban and are probably not Taleban or Al-Qaeda related, anyway.

However, that does not stop us being just a bit nervous and jumpy and I hope today's story will bring a smile to your faces as I tell a tale of derring-do that makes me smile now I am back in the comparitive safety of the house. Today is our Friday holiday day and I had decided it would be a good idea to go to Qagar. This is a dam on the outskirts of Kabul that has created a lake where the people of Kabul go to relax. A chance to see Afghans in their natural habitat and to be part of the Afghan way of life for a brief period. A chance to actually meet real people and to relax with them and enjoy their company. Three of us and an armed guard and driver headed off this lunchtime. We got there and sure enough it did not disappoint. The lake is quite large (a little on the dirty side) and surrounded by the paraphernalia of the seaside (Afghanistan is landlocked so this is quite a unique place). There were families there, some boys swimming in the water (with bare tops, but long trousers) people playing volleyball on the "beach" (the beach being dirt rather than sand), people driving their cars down into the water to wash them, kite flying, some funfair type stalls and some "beach huts". Mothers and daughters dressed in brightly coloured reds, yellows and all the brightest colours of the rainbow were walking round with groups of small children, men, wearing their traditional Shalwar Kameez were standing/squatting in groups, playing volleyball and chatting while groups of small boys played their own games.

We found a young lad on the "beach" who had a quoits game, you know the type, throw the hoops and try to get them to land round the prize. We had half a dozen goes (10Afs per go) and actually won once, a massive 50Afs which we reinvested in more rings and, like all true gamblers, ended up losing it all. We bought a volleyball from the ball seller and played volleyball with the local boys and generally were getting along fine, lots of people coming over to say hello and make us welcome.

After that we wandered over to the back of the area where there was a few stalls and sat on the grass bank to watch the swinging boat which seems to be at every funfair in the world, although this one had some particularly interesting (not) safety features!! (You can see it in the background in front of the "men in black"). While we were sitting there the two gentlemen in the picture above came over and walked past us having a good look as they went. As they turned their backs, they started a conversation which resulted in one of them getting out his phone and starting a call. As he walked off the other stayed put by us. We looked at each other and decided it was time to go, just as our guard agitatedly came over to us and said "Go". We begun to scramble back down the bank and headed towards the car park, I threw the volleyball to a couple of young begging boys whose faces lit up like Christmas had come early, one of our "men in black" followed us down the slope. By the time we got to the car park we were all running for the car and dived in as our guard covered our backs. We headed out of there at a sharp pace. As soon as we got to a clear bit of road we stopped, got out the car, checked the underside and then headed back home.

Maybe something, more likely nothing, but better safe than sorry. Looking back it was almost certainly nothing and just some typically inquisitive people who happened to be wearing black turbans. Whatever, it added a little excitement to our "day out" and at least will give us something to talk about.

This evening we have news that another demining convoy has been attacked in the North, we don't yet know the details. Let's hope they got away with no loss of life or serious injuries.

Dogs and Women

Good day again to you dear reader.
I noticed on the news today the people in the UK were talking to me through what appeared to be a snowstorm. You will be pleased, I am sure, to know the tables are turned and the weather here is a rather fine 65F. Although I have noticed the dust has now been followed by the Kabul haze, which is basically a brown dust cloud that hangs over the city, I presume until next winter now.

Anyway, as ever I digress, this is not the theme of my post. I thought I would answer the questions posed regarding our dog and women. I shall address these in order of importance and tell you a bit more about Inskandar, our dog. We are based in Kabul, but we also have staff in our northern office in Pul-i-Khumri and a house there. This is where Iskandar lives (look up his name, it does have a meaning). There will be a prize for the first right answer!!!

He was a street dog (of which there are many). Afghans are not dog lovers by any stretch and they seem only to have three functions. They are either guard dogs, fighting dogs or stone throwing targets. They get a pretty rough deal. However, Iskandar has been adopted by our man in the North and he is leading a right old life, living it up in the house with regular walks, proper food, lots of attention and a bed for the night. Probably one of the best cared for dogs in the whole of 'Stan.

So what will become of this little cutie. He willl remain the dog at the house in PiK and will continue to thrive. When our man in the North leaves, if the new ex-pat does not want him he shall bring him back to the UK. Fear not, he will not be abandoned.

As for women. There are many ex-pat women in Afghanistan and particularly in Kabul. They always wear trousers or ankle length skirts and long sleeves tops. When in public they always wear a scarf over their heads as is the way here. It is very, very unusual but sometimes you will be on the plane back from Dubai and there will be a woman who has not been briefed properly and will be wearing a sleeveless top or the like on the plane. this causes a stir at Kabul airport and they soon cover up. The funniest thing is the Afghan TV stations which pixelate any female flesh that appears anywhere. I am not sure what they think will happen if this flesh is seen, but I think it says more about the lack of any form of discipline in the male population than anything else. Even in the ex-pat only bars etc, it is very unusual to see a woman wearing a sleeveless top and never a skirt above the ankles.

How do the Afghan men relate to these women? Not very well. Wife beating and abuse is still prevalent and not seen as an evil in any way. In fact there are many roadside posters depicting this as bad and the idea of treating women as people is a concept the Government are trying to introduce. To have an ex-pat woman telling you what to do is very difficult for them. They will always smile politely, but you get the feeling that many of them believe she should be slapped down. Not all, but some. We had one female working for us and there was always great tutting about her telling people what to do. Worse still was the fact that she went out in the evening. I constantly had orders from the top Afghan management to discuss this with her and to get her to stop this kind of activity. A woman going out on her own (to meet other women) is completely unheard of. In fact, Afghan women are not even supposed to go shopping without a chaperone. Of course, she was travelling in an armoured car with a driver and an armed guard, but these men were not her family and therefore she should not be out with them. Yes they have somewhat archaic attitudes and these alone would make for a long missive.

On another observation of Kabul life there is something that puzzles and amuses me about everyday life. Every other car in Kabul is a yellow and white taxi. These are almost 100% very old, battered Toyota Corolla estates, capable of holding up to 15 people (the max I have seen). They are truly battered and have a lack of detail to things like windscreen wipers, stop lights, any proper lighting at all. However, they are covered with accessories. They are reminiscent of our "souped up" cars in our teenage years except the accessories here do not add anything to the functionality of the car. Various coloured lights behind the radiator grill, little lights on the wing mirrors, flashing lights across the back which flash completely randomly, flags flying from mirrors, long aerials, carpets over the seats, fluffy steering wheel covers and.............ski racks. For some utterly inexplicable reason ski racks on the roof seems to be some sort of must have accessory. They are completely useless, I have never seen them used to carry anything, let alone skis. They are completely redundant, but utterly necessary. This is yet another mystery of the Afghan psyche which continue to baffle me.
Anyway, those are todays observations, I hope they have brought some enlightenment. As no-one has asked for a while the yoghurt/honey/banana diet is working well. Bowels are just fine,thanks.

Friday morning

Good morning, it is Friday and our normal day off. This follows on from the Afghan New Year so again all is quiet. Made even quieter by the city power being off and there being no electricity. In the background there is the hum of generators in the distance, but not ours, so we have no power, no water (the pump is off when the leccy is off) and the house is silent. In fact, I am the only one awake.

It is again a lovely sunny day, but rain is forecast, so I shall take the opportunity to wander round to the Kabul Coffee House for a Latte (yes they have, what appears to be, the ONLY proper Italian coffee machine in Kabul) and a Greek Salad. The KCH is in the next street so we always take a short stroll round the corner. They also have a wireless Internet connection so I can talk to the outside world (which I can't do here, at the moment). They have one of those signs that we Brits find rather funny when abroad. It is supposed to say "Wireless Internet now here" but they have run two words into one and it actually says "Wireless Internet nowhere".
I have my book, laptop and specs in my bag and off I stroll. Of course, I have had to change from my shorts to my trousers. Even men are not allowed to show that much flesh on the streets of Kabul.
Today the children are out in force. Outside our house are the kids from our street playing cricket, they have a chair as a wicket, a tennis ball and a small, children's bat. The rules seem a bit loose and flexible depending on your idea of bowling, but they are certainly having a great time. As always they offer to let me play and I stay and watch (field) for few minutes before carrying on. Further up the street some younger boys (only boys come out to play) have a make shift kite and are flying this high, high above the streets. These kites are basically made from a plastic bag and a wooden frame, but from somewhere they seem to get miles of nylon "string" and they fly the kits so high you can barely see them.

The KCH is a really nice little oasis of pleasure here which serves real Italian coffee and reasonable snack type food (salads, omelettes etc.) and has a pleasant garden to sit in, as you can see above (sorry about the quality of the picture but it was taken with the computer webcam!). It used to be a great little secret that was frequented mainly by Afghans and a few, select Ex-Pats, but since the Serena attack and the latest threats from our "Bearded Friends" it has grown in popularity with Ex-Pats as the more high profile haunts have closed. Anyway there is no parade of foreigner's Land Cruisers outside today and it is pretty empty inside.
It too has beefed up security and also has a series of doors, armed guards and searches but hey-ho this is Kabul life.
So, for a pleasant couple of hours I drink Caramel Latte, eat "Greek" salad and work and read. The "Greek" salad is actually a lot of lettuce, two olives, some tomato and cheese that only has colour as its tenuous link to feta, the taste, smell and texture are a far cry from the original, but it tastes good in its own way and that is all that matters, really.
On the way back I drop into a small shop to buy a can of mango drink and a large tub of yoghurt for dinner this evening. The drink is 25Afs and the yoghurt 50Afs (1Af = 1p), so i suspect the prices have been doubled for me, but 75p is not a bad deal.
As I get back I can begin to hear thunder rumbling on the other side of the mountains that surround Kabul and slowly a large black cloud is working its way over the peaks.
15 minutes after getting back and changing into my shorts, the cloud and thunder has arrived and it is now snowing!! If only the human attitudes could change as quickly as the weather!!!!

2 phrases you do not want to hear on an airplane

Hello there, how are you today?
Me? Well, I am back in Kabul and enjoying a lovely sunny day. Incredibly, the temperature seems to have risen around 40C since January and we are now basking in glorious sunshine.
It is the Afghan New Year and there is a general holiday, the streets are empty, no pedestrians, no cars and more importantly, the office is empty.
In some ways it is quite eerie as the warm weather has brought the return of the DUST. Yes, dust is a very important part of Kabul life. It gets everywhere and covers everything. With no traffic or people there is a gentle breeze and as I look out my window there are small billows of brown being blown gently down the empty street. The soil is not only incredibly fine (like talcum powder) but seems to avoid sustaining any life at all costs. So the street is completely bare. Just the dusty dirt road, high walls and little brown clouds. I expected there to be kite flyers out today, but maybe everyone is inside celebrating.
So today I have been sitting in the garden working from home and enjoying the rays. In fact, it was so, so sunny this afternoon I could not see the screen on the laptop and had to resort to reading a book. Currently, I have Bill Bryson's "Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" on the go. For anyone who grew up in 50's USA or 60's UK it will transport you back to a youth and time before the advent of the computer and "gameboys". A simpler time when children actually went outside and played, a time when we were indestructible and needed no helmets, knee pads, softened play areas and warning labels. When there were few rules and almost anything went. But, as ever, I digress.
Digressing is a good sign, I hope, and shows that my addled brain of February has been revitalised and replaced with one of clarity and a penchant for a tale. I think the Monkees singing "Daydream Believer" is also helping the general mood here. So, although we have not managed to leave the confines of the house and garden today, in the world of Kabul the sun is shining and it is as good as it gets. Even the restaurant/bar round the corner has re-opened and although getting in is now a test of patience and good nature, at least it is open again.
As for the title to this missive, let me take you back a couple of days to my departure from dear old Blighty and my eventual arrival in Kabul.
You are now accustomed to these journeys having their, shall we say, interesting diversions and the fact that they are never quite what they seem. Well this one again did not disappoint. I left Heathrow Terminal 3 at 8pm UK time on the Emirates flight to Dubai. An fairly uneventful journey except there was a good tail wind and we arrived in Dubai a little early. We flew overnight and arrived at 2.30am UK time (6.30am Dubai time). Unfortunately having given us dinner etc, then happily serving breakfast at 1am UK time, I only had about 2 hours sleep max on the plane. However, I arrived OK, went from Dubai terminal 1 (proper terminal for proper airlines to proper places) and I got a taxi to terminal 2 (dodgy terminal for dodgy airlines to dodgy places)
After recent experiences I had booked the UN flight from Dubai to Kabul. What could possibly go wrong? After all, the UN is a reputable organisation, if not a well known airline operator.
We took off at midday Dubai time (8am UK time, still only 2 hours sleep) and headed for Kabul, Afghanistan. OK, only a couple of hours and we will be back at the Kabul Ex-Pat house and can get some sleep.
Now there are many phrases you do not want to hear when you are sitting on a plane. One of the general ones that applies to all planes in all places is "we appear to have a problem with one of the engines". Another, that is more uniquely Afghan, is "we are diverting to Kandahar". Now, even those of us that for some inexplicable reason think that living and working in Kabul is acceptable, know that Kandahar rhymes with Helmand in the list of places that are not good places to be diverted to. OK, it was good enough for our illustrious Prince Harry and whats good for the goose etc. So within 15 minutes of these announcement we are dropping down into Kandahar. So when these two phrases are uttered in the same sentence, we all sit and look at each other as if to say "this was not part of the deal".
We land at the airport/airbase which is a big military base with lots of very interesting things all around us. I shall not specify what aircraft and flying things were there, but suffice to say I saw lots of things I have only seen on news bulletins and I did not even know were here.
We sat on the runway waiting while they checked over the engine and refuelled the plane. Unfortunately, we were not allowed off for a wander round, which would have been interesting, however the thing that was really taxing our minds was the time. It takes an hour to get to Kabul and planes are not allowed to fly into Kabul after dark (its a Taleban surface to air missile thing!) and we can see the clock ticking down while they fiddled with the plane. We were quite intrigued, if we could not go on to Kabul, where could you put up 150 unexpected ex-Pats in Kandahar? We looked and looked, but no airport hotel seemed to be there to greet us.
As we all began to speculate more and more and 4.30pm (Afghan time) loomed large we began to start treating this as a serious question, where would we go? At 4.28pm the pilot announced we were leaving, the tanker withdrew, the man with a screwdriver at the engine ran away and with the seat belt sign still off and the doors still open, the engines fired up. It was a very swift run up the taxiway and we were off, heading for Kabul arriving just as dusk fell.
The airport was closed and we were shown into the UN special lounge, our passports stamped and we were released onto an unsuspecting Kabul. My driver was in the car park, we picked up our guard as we left the airport and we headed for the house. It was just after 6pm (1.30pm UK time), the light was fading fast, and I was back at my Kabul "home" arriving for the last time. In 6 weeks I shall leave for the last time. I shall miss these little exciting diversions, not a lot.

taking a rest

Hello again,

Sorry to have been so quiet of late. I simply have not felt much like writing. I have been to the north of Afghanistan and through the Salang Tunnel and have stories to tell about this and other stuff (we have even adopted a puppy in the North, see piccie) for the last month.

I am back in the UK now after a weeks skiing in Italy before I go back to 'Stan on Monday. Am feeling more like writing so will try to catch up later this week.

Compared to many in Kabul and around Afghanistan, who have been dying in their hundreds throughout the cold spell, life has been pretty good for us, but I am afraid the cold, lack of water and electricity and the general tightening of security and restrictiveness combined with additional workload have all affected the general mood and created an air of apathy towards blogging.

So my apologies for that, normal service will be resumed shortly!!